Affirmations under the moonlight

This is a piece I write in the name of appreciation, in the name of love, in the name of grace 

To everyone who listened

To everyone who didn't judge 

To everyone who lent a hand

To everyone who taught me a lesson

To everyone who opened their heart

To everyone who joined the journey 

To everyone who helped me grow

To everyone who was there

A tribute to Al-Shifa trip  

August 2020 

In the past few months I struggled with a lot of self-doubt. Maybe self-hatred even. 

I spent a lot of time debating whether I needed to change to belong,

 I needed to change to blend in , I needed to change to be accepted, I needed to change to be loved. 

I couldn’t bear these thoughts, they were a burden I carried on my shoulders without realizing how much they weighed me down. 

They wore out my energy 

They dragged me down 

They made me sink 

And I couldn’t lift my spirit up 

I was so unhappy to the point I didn't realise how miserable I became 

I don’t want to lie 

I don’t want to act

I don’t want to pretend

I don’t want to be excluded

I don’t want to be alienated

I don’t want to be pushed away 

I don’t want to be irrelevant

I don’t want to turn into something I am not

.

.

So I pack my feelings and go, I take off to the unknown, the unfamiliar 

Fear, my old companion finds its way to my heart very easily. 

A lot of questions runs through my mind 

What if I never, ever belong

What if I never, ever blend in 

What if I never, ever find love 

What if I never, ever make sense

What if I never, ever find my way

What if I never, ever stop running 

'

'

I arrive to a familiar place, yet so strange to me. 

So far yet so close. 

So isolated yet so filled with life. 

I see new faces yet they seem like old friends.

.

.

We walk barefoot, and I feel the ground soaking my sorrows away. 

We breath the fresh air, and I feel my soul filling up with life again.    

We climb the mountain, and I feel the rocks giving me the strength to carry on.

We sleep under the moonlight, and I feel the stars lighting up my way. 

We swim in the sea, and I feel the water filling me with its grace.

The universe handed me the answers

You are wise 

You are kind 

You are lucky 

You are warm 

You are loved 

You are smart 

You are blessed 

You are strong 

You are funny 

You are thankful 

You are grateful 

You are beautiful 

You are thoughtful 

You are emotional 

And you shouldn't change any of that