This is not a story about resolution
14-11-2021
I lied to myself
And everyone who cared about me
Wearing a smile on my face and wearing a happy mask
I put on a show of being strong and unbreakable
When I was in-fact crushed and shattered
I carried around my broken heart in pain
Suddenly I found myself strapped form a beautiful dreamy world that blinded my vision from reality
And it ruined me
At first glance it looked like a perfect love story
The one that fits every piece in the puzzle
The one that fills every hole
The one that fix every problem
The one that held your hands crying
The one that made you smile
Until it didn’t
I broke down into million pieces
And I exploded in the face of everyone who tried to clean up the mess
Hurting them too
I was filled with anger and hatred
I am still filled with anger and hatred
I loathed everything and everyone
I choose revenge over grief
And I became a bitter woman
I started with the one who caused my pain
Spelling misery on their life and setting it on fire
I craved destruction and violence
It was the only way I could validate my suffering
By leaving them suffer too
The agony overfilled my heart and started flooding everyone I encountered
I yelled, I screamed, I cried
I destroyed, I cheated, I lied
My body ached with sorrow
And so did my soul
The grudge I held against one person
Spilled out like a toxic disease to everything I touched
I have become the person I hated all along
Only now I realized
That hurt people, hurt others too
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